Growing and glowing isn’t a destination my loves; the journey to supreme divine feminine energy takes a lifetime of finessing! That’s why it’s called the PURSUIT of happiness, with happiness being the runner in this narrative my fems.
It’s 02:20 AM, and I’m sitting up in bed, listening to Spotify whilst crying ever so quietly. H.E.R went in on the song Closer To Me and at 1:09 seconds into the song, this queen says “‘cause the whole time you were giving away what should have been my love.” I instantaneously broke the fuck into tears.
I stood in the isle for what felt like forever; looking at prices and sizes, comparing and scanning with Sabali running around touching things on the shelves that she shouldn’t. I finally settled on the Clicks Made 4 Baby dry-protect which retails at R155.00 for a 36 pack.
Experiencing 365+ days without any form of intimacy has been introspective. My celibacy practice wasn’t intentional from the beginning, after separating from my child’s father; the days turned into months and now I’m a year in.
Last week, while driving home from visiting a “friend”, I noticed how uneasy I felt. My mind refused to settle and my thoughts swirled around like a hurricane in my head. A chemical attack in my brain; so many questions with very little answers. I hadn’t seen this friend in a while and thought I’d reach out l, but the recluse in me always regrets reaching out, especially when people don’t meet my expectations, or worse, disappoint me.
It was just a regular day; Sabali and I went downstairs to collect our Uber Eats. But as this toddler would have it, mom is forever chasing her around. She has this new obsession with running out into the street whenever we’re outside. Instinctively, I grabbed her by the hand and lifted her from the street onto the pavement. The sharp shriek from her cry as I put her down let me know that I had hurt her. Panic set in immediately and I picked up my baby and hurried upstairs. Fortunately, a friend was visiting that day and reminded me to calmly find a solution.